The Ravages of Hope

Oh, hope.

You are the wickedest of virtues.

In your sainted presence I forget that here is now;

I beat against the present like a caged thing.

Your unspoken promises set wildfires in my blood;

For I’ve tasted your impossibles before.

When you hover before my eyes,

O hope,

I lose my will to sacrifice.

You make me wish for evils—

My goodness I abandon like a harlot for your company.

You hold my heart’s desire in your arms,

You wretch, you wraith,

And when I look at you my memories come alive,

Those memories of the future that you dangle

So unkindly from your fingers.

You are breath and life, you are hell made over as heaven.

You are tenacious,

And I am too weak to fight you.

Stay away. Stay away from me.

Do me that small mercy.

And when I call you back again--

I always call you back again--

Don’t come.