Thursday, June 3, 2010

Love Rusts When It Rains on Romance ...

Starship's single "We Built This City" has been labeled by more than one source as the worst song of all time. Anyone who believes this has clearly not heard the rest of that album.

I bring this up because I've had "Love Rusts," the last track from Knee Deep in the Hoopla, stuck in my head for days. DAYS. It's my own fault for having bad taste in music as a child. Knee Deep in the Hoopla was one of three tapes I took with me on my family's bus tour of Europe when I was 7, and I played it continuously on my Walkman throughout the trip, pausing only to pop the tape, flip it, and rewind to the beginning. I can't remember what I ate for dinner last night, but I can't manage to forget the words to "Rock Myself to Sleep."

If you think "We Built This City" is the worst song ever, you have to listen to "Love Rusts."

You've got to sit back and appreciate the inanity of these lyrics. "Tell my landlord I'll be home by June" is not the type of line that deserves a dramatic high note. Grace Slick does what she can to inject a little something into the lines, but she ends up sounding like Catwoman reading a script she just doesn't get. If you can't make yourself sit through the whole thing, the 2:30 mark is a favorite spot for a chuckle, when the backup singers start getting overzealous. The track is basically over at 3 minutes, but the beat goes on for an agonizing two minutes more, and after a while even Mickey gets bored of bursting in with his little pop-scream interjections.

Worst. Song. Ever.